IT FEELS LIKE TODAY

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it takes the overflowing

two important things have happened in the last month (other than breaking my nose and coming up with a genu-wine chicken noise).

first of all, i made the decision to live it up as a single person. i've tried to make that decision before but it never really clicked. this time it clicked. i want to relish my life as a single person, enjoying to the last drop all the alone time i have, all the freedom to do whatever i want, all the opportunities, because life will not always be this way. i want to use my time ministering to other single women, because i will not always have the edge on input that single women have. i want to enjoy my time as a single person, like i enjoyed my �last� fall in ann arbor, taking it all in, seeing all the beautiful stuff i had missed when i was wishing my time here were over. i even want to relish the struggles that are caused by relationships with guys or feelings of loneliness, because they have by far been the most helpful thing to me in terms of character growth. ready, set, go.

also, it's finally clicked in my head that i don't have what it takes. i've always had a lot of pride about lots of things--my competence, my intelligence, whatever. i think that i've always thought that i have what it takes, if i could just tap into that potential that was down there somewhere. i always felt like i was doing a sub-par job at life, but with the right amount of discipline and determination, i could become that person i've always wanted to be. the truth? that's a bunch of hooey. i got nothin. i have nothing to my credit but the Spirit of the Almighty God filling up all the emptiness in me, all the lameness, all the muteness. i'm being filled up with movement and truth and speech. filled up to overflowing.

what it takes is the overflowing.

also, let me introduce you to my train.

10:05 pm - 01.21.2006

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

there's music playing: psalm 143 by shane & shane

i'm reading: the lindisfarne gospels

previous - next